Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Fast and the Furious

I feel like summer is moving through like a freight train. Those in the southern half of the States know that summer is two fold, the first half beginning as around at mid-May with full on summer by mid-June and oppressive heat season beginning some place around mid to late July. The concept of being chilled in the evening is nonexistent until mid-October. Much of this doesn't matter, really. The season's move and shift, and I do my best to enjoy the outside as much humanly possible without much sweating like a beast doing so. This is harder than imagined seeing as most of August the temperature doesn't dip below 80 even at sunrise and the relative humidity rates keep it feeling like it is well into the 90s.

I guess this really figures into the fact that if I feel that the seasons are moving like a car down a highway. The real heat will be here before I know it without me being able to enjoy the weather now.
I believe this latter issue to be larger than I want it to be. I feel rushed and anxious so far this summer. There are many large projects I am working on at work... and at home. Many of them culminating at various points mid summer and into the fall.  I know I am not the only one feeling the heat of the sun like pressure on the chest. C is hard at work as well.  Many of his deadlines for work are in a similar timeline to mine. We both feel it. But lots of exciting news comes from all this work. We decided to officially get hitched this fall. *This was actually especially difficult to write surprisingly seeing as the only people that know so far are very close family and I'm not sure how I want to come out to the public about it. This has weighed heavily on me and is difficult to put to words. I want to be excited, but in reality I'm full of anxiety. I'm really not sure how C and I are going to pull this off.  He's about excited as a sloth. His mind is elsewhere, mainly focusing on work.  He has many big deadlines starting in August and the work is intensive. I, too, have many looming deadlines beginning in July for work. 
I am concerned we will be consumed until right up until the end. That we will miss the most important deadline and project, our marriage. I am totally freaked we will botch this.  Because in reality we both are passive, laid back, kinda lazy do-ers, that have a serious "What-evs" policy in our house. Do you know that last time I was on time for work? Neither do I.  But it sure wasn't in the last 2 weeks.
So maybe you see why I am forlorn at the summer approaching so quickly and with such speed. Why I am sad to see May go so quickly and June descend upon us without having enough tea and and the other important T, time.

P.S. I'm still working out the kinks to my one piece block, but found some great nylon swimwear while in NYC last week. I am hoping to purchase some yardage in a few weeks! Until then I'll be trying my hand at underwear and making C some T-shirts with cotton jersey I picked up at Spandex House.

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